I’m Feeling Like a Robot

As much as running makes me feel free, lately I’m feeling a little tied down.

When I used to go running, I would just tie my shoes and head out the door. Depending on the weather, I would wear anything from shorts-and-no-shirt to shorts-long sleeve shirt-and gloves or even full coverage with 2 layers including tights when it got below 30 degrees. There was even a time when I was experimenting with barefoot running. Those days were the best, if I wanted to go running I would just take off my shirt and walk out the door. Total freedom.

Now that I'm diabetic, I wear my normal shorts and shirt but I also wear a watch on one arm and a medic-alert bracelet on the other arm. I also clip my insulin pump on my waist band and it communicates with my constant glucose monitor which is attached to my skin. I also clip my iPod Nano onto my waistband and it communicates with my Nike+ device which is clipped onto my right shoe and keeps track of my pace and distance. The headphone cord goes up under my shirt and pops out my collar to reach my ears. Then, on top of all that, I wear a running belt that has a small pouch that holds snacks and a drink. I sometimes leave the water bottle at home if the run is under an hour but I always have at least 2 snacks of fast acting carbs. Usually it is a pack of fruit snacks and a Power Gel. I bring more for longer runs. I always bring one more than I think I will need so that even during the last part of the run, I will always have some carbs with me.

It takes me a few minutes to get all geared up and then head out the door to enjoy my “freedom”.

I could do without the iPod but the rest of the stuff just adds to my safety so I do it. It isn’t that bad. It is a little extra weight but I’ve still yet to be passed out there on the trails. This one guy tried last week but that was only because I slowed down to eat a gel. When I got back up to speed and we got to the hill, I easily pulled ahead.

I'm not complaining, just wanted everyone else out there to know how easy they have it. Hope to see more of you out there some time.

Successes and Failures

Here is a list of some of my bigger successes this summer:

Running – I got back in shape this summer, I ran about 25 miles a week most weeks, I ran a 5k in under 18 minutes (on my own) during a workout.

Golf – I got some good rounds in where I realized I can play all day by just turning off my pump and eating about a half of a granola bar (12 carbs) every other hole. I also shot 9 over on 9 holes at McCall which I think is my best round.

Bike – I rode in a couple BMX races just because I have always wanted to and I realized there is no reason why I can’t. I couldn’t quite keep up with some of the other guys but I practiced a bit more and on my second attempt I was a lot faster. I still got last place but I was right behind the other guys for most of the race.

Squat Thrust Challenge – The guys in my office wanted to have a challenge where we do squat thrusts every day. We started at 20 the first day and added one each day for a month up to 50. The hard part is not missing a day or making up for it by doing double the next day. Most guys dropped out early on but one guy made it for about 3 weeks. I was the only one who made it all the way. By the end I was much stronger and was glad I had done it.

Diabetes in general – I have been using a constant glucose monitor for about a month now and it is really helping. It makes it easier to go running because I have a good idea of whether my blood sugar is rising or falling. I also had a good result on my A1C test (6.7). I also noticed that I can do a very hard work out on Saturday mornings and then not need hardly any insulin the rest of the day and even barely even need any for most of Sunday. It makes me feel free again which makes for a good incentive to do such a hard workout.

Attitude – Overall, I have gotten over the depressed feelings that I felt the first couple weeks. I don’t know if I just don’t think about it as much or if I have just started to accept it or what. Either way, it is nice to not be down on myself anymore.

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Some of my failures include a few times when I was out on a run and my blood sugar started dropping too low. Fortunately I always carry some fast carbs so I was never really in danger but it was still frustrating. For example, one day I was just running along and got too low so I stopped and ate and waited for a few minutes so I could make sure I was recovered enough to keep going. While I was waiting, 3 younger guys went running by at a decent pace. They were just smiling and talking and running like they didn’t have a care in the world, kind of like how I used to be. I was a little sad that I couldn’t enjoy the same freedom.

Other times I have failed in the other direction, like not taking enough insulin and having really high blood sugar for a few hours.

My biggest failures though are of a different nature. There are times when I just don’t go running at all because I am not at a good blood sugar level and it will take too much effort to get it back in line. There was also a time when I didn’t do a race, even though I wanted to, because I was worried that I wasn’t ready to race yet. These are the types of failures that I can’t have. I can’t let Diabetes win.

My pride can also get me in trouble. In August, there was a race that my friends were running but I did not enter because I was worried I couldn’t keep up or that something would go wrong. Later that morning, I checked their results and I just couldn’t stand not knowing if I could have kept up. That evening, at 8 PM, I went and ran the course by myself and pushed it hard like it was a race. I even put on my race shoes. It was an 8 mile course where the first 4 miles is a climb and the whole thing is on bumpy dirt single track trail in the foothills. I completed the course in 57 minutes which would have put me in the top 10 in the race and ahead of both of my friends.  I had to eat some carbs about every 20 minutes and carry my own water during the run. The good part is that I started and finished with a blood sugar level near 100 and gave a good solo effort. The bad part is that I let my pride put myself in danger. I was out there on the trails all alone as it was getting dark and I could have just done the same thing with all the safety of an organized race.

Goal: Before our baby arrives in November, I will run a race.